Hategasm

I know in recent times, my posts have been rather verbose.  My tone has been civil and I’ve tried to present intellectual, logical, articulate ideas and given viable, credible evidence to support them as much as possible. No profanity, no calling anyone a mother fucker and lots of big words.  Not today.

So I’ve mustered sufficient motivation to write what will no doubt be considered a rather verbose article on equal opportunity. In my usual defamatory manor, I hope to silence the dogmatists in the only way I know how… senseless, mindless profanity, the doctrine of the degenerate. As such, the rest of this shit storm will attempt to collate both a rational position of female empowerment and my usual desecration of everything that is just, right, noble, moral, ethical and of course, holy.

Let me make something VERY clear before those reading who know where I live descend upon me with rolling pins, chair legs and tubes of lubricant looking to break a sodomy law or two. This is not some half arsed rant about how women should shut the fuck up and get back into the kitchen where they belong.  I do NOT believe that the current equal opportunity situation in this country is ideal…definitely not… but let’s be honest… when will it ever be? There will always be a group of people having a whinge about mistreatment. 100,000 odd years of the hunter-gatherer mentality is impossible to uproot in the space of 20 years, and to expect society to just resolve itself in the time it takes to cook a packet of 2 minute noodles is unrealistic and often fatalistic.

One is forced to highlight the point that “chauvinistic, sexist pig” is a characteristic that is often offensively regurgitated by the ‘feminist’ movement. To concede this, we must also concede that the term is not specific to men and to use it in an argument is as valid a position as moving seats on a train when a man wearing a turban sits down next to you.

Despite my critics, I am not a misogynist – I just believe in common sense and rationality. Furthermore, understanding the issue is definitely an important part of resolving it, but there must be a very clear distinction between rational and selfish inquiry.

Analysis of the empirical evidence available is helpful, but understanding the social context in which the evidence is derived is even more critical. I can crunch the numbers and say that 100% of females don’t get testicular cancer and on paper, this is correct. How unfair! Nevertheless, no matter how many ways statisticians and mathematicians slice the data there is still the underlying issue that most females don’t own testicles.

It’s for this reason that we can very easily argue that the current data available on female average starting salaries isn’t fully explained by “Oh well, poor women are getting fucked by society (a society in which they have a 50% stake mind you)”, and it may very well be the case that there are a multitude of social prerequisites (aside from John Howard being an incontinent geriatric) that take time to mature, namely education and experience.

While I’m on the subject of balls, according to the American Cancer Society, lung cancer killed over 161,000 Americans in 2008 yet received 1/12th of the funding of breast cancer. It’s also interesting to note that breast cancer killed less people in 2008 than prostate cancer, yet breast cancer receives $2,000 per death more than prostate cancer in N.C.I funding. So much for inequality.

After further examination of the empirical evidence, it becomes clear that there are far greater issues here than just equal opportunity. The earnings of any 1st world country are largely skewed to the rich. 10% of Australia’s earners make 90% of the money and to suggest that women don’t make equal money based on ‘average salary’ is a bit short sighted. The top 10% of earners are largely male for the exact reasons I gave earlier and as such, hold such a large portion of the pie. It’s also crucial to note that statistics never mention how many of those women simply don’t want to be executives and CEO’s and besides, being female doesn’t automatically afford you the right to a position (or any kind of headstart) just because of your gender. On the other hand, it is often a social prerequisite for a man to be rich and powerful if he wants to be biologically successful. He has no choice. Whose fault is it that men feel they need to adhere to a strict set of characteristics? Whose fault is it that men are all so competitive for money and power? Who perpetuates these social stereotypes? hmmm….

Someone should also ask just how many women want to either be mothers or work a lower end job, close to home with little stress in order to spend more time with their kids versus how many men want this.

The alternative to this of course, is a nation where kids grow up being raised by everyone but their parents… and don’t throw the “why don’t men” argument at me. There are plenty of guys who are stay at home dads, but there is still an underlying issue of biology here. As much as you don’t like or want to hear it, you can’t escape the fact that mothers have a much stronger biological connection to their children. In lesser primates, females are solely responsible for raising their offspring (last time I checked, I wasn’t a seahorse). One might argue we should enjoy the inequalities and the benefits that come with each sex while they still exist…I don’t see a woman complain about inequality when she is the recipient of a chivalrous act.

Most policy makers in HR are women. Corporations like ANZ and many others adopt a fancy ’socially responsible’ policy which states that one woman must be present in the top echelon of the business. Aside from the incredibly offensive, condescending and paradoxical implication of this we see a rather unanticipated side effect. As long as there is one woman in a directors seat, there only needs to be one woman there. Put some mindless moron into some shit house insignificant directorship and leave her there as a big bright shining feminist shield to stop legitimate female professionals from flourishing…

Yet again, we see how the overzealous often stand in the way of progress.

Making claims about how all men are fucking assholes, megalomaniacs, sexist, slanderous, testosterone charged, chauvinists is about as useful as the pope’s testicles. The sad reality is that women these days cannibalise themselves, yet the premise for their argument is that it’s an issue that has been fostered by a bunch of arseholes sitting in a boys club around a table, high fiving each other? They do this then go home to their ‘Sex and the City’ DVDs and watch 4 women openly celebrate female cannibalism and the decline of a sex under the false guise of empowerment.

Furthermore, to avoid criticism anyone making the argument must address equal opportunity as a whole, not go off on some egotistical, self indulgent tangent about the things that only effect them then use the very position of ‘equality’ as their main anchor. Equal opportunity CANNOT be taken a la carte. To do this is solipsism at its best.

Poor people are MUCH worse off than the rich and in almost all cases, doomed from the very start by the socio-economic group they are raised in. Blacks and Muslims (male and female) through no fault of their own have it MUCH, MUCH worse than white women (as a group of people). Gay men cop it in the arse 10 times worse than gay women both in terms of social stigma, perception and understanding. Inequality doesn’t discriminate…

To finish, I want to try to put this into perspective. There are horrific stories about middle eastern women having their genitals sawn off with a sharp stone then having the vagina stitched together only to be busted open on their wedding night by some sex starved savage whose contempt for women is equalled by the stupidity of his religion. I want to highlight how women are held accountable for crimes their brothers commit and are pelted with stones until they die. I want to highlight the particular sections of Muslim law which expressly state that a woman cannot be persecuted if she is a virgin and how in order to solve this, both religious and secular authorities turn the other cheek while guards rape the woman, thus rendering her punishable. Suddenly, a $10,000 average salary discrepancy doesn’t seem like the highest priority on the list of ‘female rights’, does it?

Men are designed for short, nasty, brutal lives…women are designed for long, miserable ones – Dr Estelle Ramey.

SK

Everyone has their own opinion on the Medical Marijuana debate and are indeed entitled to it, as long as its an educated one. But last night by chance (some would say fate), I walked past the TV when I saw some ad for one of Channel 7’s current affairs programs and a piece they were doing called “Reefer Madness” discussing a new Hybrid ‘Super Drug’. Having taken a great interest in drug education recently, I decided to lift my TV ban and watch it. This wild new drug’s name? Marijuana.

…Wait what?

So let me get this right. Are you putting this new hybrid ‘super’ drug in the same category as heroin and meth, or are you just trying to use scare tactics to make the idiots who watch that drivel run to their rooms to hide under the covers from the cannabis monsters? Don’t shit on my plate and call it a rib eye you pestilent sociopath. Marijuana plants have been cultivated in places like Columbia and India for thousands of years and all of a sudden you egotistical arseholes think you have come up with some new genius drug?

There has always been a range of THC levels in weed from the Mexican ’shwag’ to the Columbian dope. No one is boosting THC to unheard of levels, it just means there are some nuances in this discussion that are being exploited to convince the public (more specifically the idiots who get their news from a bullshit bias TV program), that we are in the grip of some sort of super megadeath drug madness that is sweeping the nation, turning us all into psychotic losers, while they take another puff of their cigarette and drink their coffee.

Right…go to GSK and get some of their anti-psychotics, which are coincidentally much more likely to kill you and or turn you into a vegetable (look up lithium and then talk to me about brain damage).

The reporter uses this drop kick degenerate as an example of why you shouldn’t smoke weed, but lets examine the validity of her example for a second shall we? He looked like he really wasn’t going to enjoy much success in life without weed and if I had to put money on it, I’d go with a big YES on him having smashed down a few spoon fulls of medicine in his life time (heroin is typically heated in a spoon before being taken intravenously…get it? Hardy har har…hmm…) and may argue that its not the weed that’s fucked him up. Maybe its him, or his abuse of drugs in general (not just cannabis) or both of the above. Why is weed always the scapegoat for these shit kickers? They can blame drugs but can’t take responsibility for their own horrendous life choices?

She goes on to say that “a drug that he thought was harmless has actually destroyed his mind”. Here we go, yet another uninformed, uneducated shitstain of a human being going on about the ‘damning evidence to support brain damage’. Read a book you illiterate hermaphrodite fuck…there is no scientific proof of THC ever destroying brain cells – or even killing a single person for that matter… unlike tobacco - 440,000 people annually (US) or alcohol - 85,000 people annually (US).

In 1974 Ronald Regan, as advised by the Heath/Tuland study which was (as it turns out) funded by the Regan administration, cited that “The most reliable scientific sources say permanent brain damage is one of the inevitable results of the use of marijuana”. They carried out experiments by strapping gas masks to monkeys’ faces pumping out marijuana smoke. That’s 30 joints a day… and after 30 days recorded that they began to atrophy and die. After 6 years, it was made public that the experiments were conducted by pumping the monkeys with the cannabis smoke without any additional oxygen. What do you think happens to a brain that is starved of oxygen? Ill give you a clue…you buy it, you use it, but you never get to see it.

This shameless ploy for pity claims to now suffer from being ‘paranoid’ and ‘psychotic’. Look at the guy, this isn’t weed related… he’s just unstable. Being abusive is more likely to be an inherent psychological trait than THC induced. When you smoke weed, you don’t want to smash people, you want to smash a bag of oreos… or sour strips… or cannonball a coke slurpee… Are they seriously going to base their argument on such a fallacy and blame the substance, not the person? You can abuse anything. The LD50 dosages (half way down… look for THC) of caffeine and alcohol are 12 and 4 times higher than tetrahydrocannabinol respectively but we don’t ban them do we? No. Because if it has a bar code and a colourful label and its producers donate loooooots of money to the major parties, its not a drug.

You drink 30 cans of V a day and you are most likely going to end up at the hospital. In fact a handful of idiots did. A Maccas cheeseburger contains 30% of your daily fat intake, 41% of your sodium intake and 17% of your Cholesterol intake… that’s just one little cheeseburger. You tell me if having 20-40 cheeseburgers a day is safe? Fuck… you spank it 30-40 times a day and you are going to run into problems.

They also show some derelict fuckhead who was locked up for being a nut job and to paraphrase, he was hearing voices; one of which told him to hurt his girlfriend. Right, and so because you’re a fucking psychopath who harms himself (he had cuts all over himself), voices tell you to kill people and because you also happen to smoke weed, it’s the perfect excuse for you to avoid taking responsibility for your insanity? Sorry your honour, it wasn’t me that beat my wife to within an inch of her life, bloodied and bruised with a broken jaw… it was the Johnny Red bottle I beat her with after I had finished it. Sorry hunny, it wasn’t me that lost the house and car, it was the pokie machine I couldn’t stop playing… but they’re all legal… so it’s ok…

The reporter then asks him how likely it is that weed caused this. You can guess as to what his answer was but how much credibility do we afford the testimony of someone who suffers from paranoid psychosis? And if the weed caused this psychosis…then why is there no direct relationship between the increase in people smoking weed (conservative estimates put it at an increase of 100,000% in marijuana use from 1937 to 2007) and people diagnosed with psychosis? Shouldn’t there at least be somewhat of a relationship between the two? There isn’t? No, that cant be right…

I know lots of people who smoke weed…and amazingly I’m still alive and they aren’t insane! Wow… I must be a very special exception.

They conclude this heartfelt circle jerk with a loving family reunion and show pictures of him holding his son with loving music in the background so we can feel empathy for this guy and a sense of attachment to him and develop a healthy hatred for marijuana which apparently is now worse than smack, which has just come out even though the 32 year old tool’s been smoking since he was 15, for making him this way and depriving that little boy of his father. You ever considered what happens to a kid whose father or mother suffer from alcoholism? Probably not. You might not want to google it either, especially if you’re squeamish.

Are we expected to feel compassion after he stops smoking for 3 weeks and buys a skateboard, running his hands through his hair as he rides along into a stiff breeze, free from the clutches of this horrible and brain cell killing drug? People aren’t that stupid.

Sounds to me like he’s in an advertisement for a big pharmaceutical company… oh wait… he is.

Shame on the reporter for presenting it. Nice to see that journalism degree is being put to good use, tackling the big issues, making a difference.

Fuck you Channel 7.

SK

Apple released this stupid piece of shit called the iPad yesterday…or the day before…fucked if I can keep track of this crap. I sat by and watched them flog that fucking MacBook Air and the endless wheelbarrows of steaming shit that seem to come out of that place on a daily basis, but there has been so much talk of this thing in 2 days that my iRage is either going to make me pass out or give me an aneurysm.

The next person who talks about that pseudo contemporary, pretentious piece of bastardised crap is going to get one up their ass. Fucking Apple customers are a certain kind of jerk. Do games “just work” on your Leopard OS shit head? Stop stroking your MacBook Pro and telling me just how awesome it is…I don’t care. There seem to be certain idiosyncrasy’s that are specific only to Apple users. This arrogance to assume I give a fuck, I want to give a fuck and the compelling urge to answer a question I didn’t fucking ask. (Mikey, sei un’eccezione)

What niche does it cater to? A Copy and paste of the Apple site will probably include words like functionality, contemporary, experience, individuality and sodomy. Let me tell you something moron, you ever seen Fight Club?…you are not an individual, you are not a beautiful and unique snowflake, you are made up of the same decaying organic matter as everyone else. Sitting in a Starbucks sipping a macchiato and reading “Catcher in the Rye” on your iPad (you better be a fast reader because when your coffee is finished, your battery will be as well) will not change this. As cynical as that may sound, it’s only once you accept futility that you can embrace the significance of insignificance.

But as usual…I digress. The iPad is a product in their stable that Apple will use to prey on morons who apparently have nothing better to do with their expendable income. Apparently preying on little miss (and mister) individuality is good for $1.67 billion dollars a quarter so from a business perspective, nice one Jobs, I tip my hat to you. In all honesty, I respect Apple…if I saw a fish in a barrel…I’d whip out a shotgun and blow that fucker sky high as well.

I just don’t get it, they have good products like the iPhone, the iPod, the iMac, the Macbook Pro. Why the fuck would you release something so stupid?

Its an iPhone with less practicality, its got a battery that’s good for about 45 seconds of run time, its got a 1024×768 screen and watching anything on it would be like trying to fuck a vacuum cleaner. Oh, and our boy Jobs said that the “iPad offers the best web-browsing experience there is – way better than laptops” yet this product doesn’t support flash even though the hardware most likely does. Don’t shit on my face and call it skin rejuvenation lotion you pompous arrogant prick. It has about as much substance as Apple’s product development life cycle. Sketch the thing on a napkin while you’re taking your morning shit and ship it off to engineering to build it.

So, its not a laptop…its not a phone…its no good for movies and youtube embedded videos wont work in the browser because it doesn’t support flash. It’s not an E reader because even on its BEST day, 10 hours of (alleged) battery time doesn’t rival the current offering of E readers on the market and you cant connect anything but apple designated devises to it so in short…you can either buy one, or spend that $600 on a ticket to Thailand and buy yourself a nice lady boy for the week with a bigger cock than yours, pick up a few grams of coke and take turns, smashing each other in the pooper until either your dick falls off or the syphilis forces you to seek medical treatment.

I hope the shit head responsible for this dies in an entertaining way that I can record, put up on youtube and (not without a sense of hilarious irony), watch on a laptop with Windows 7 that WILL support browser embedded flash giving me the “Total web-browsing experience”.

SK

As I’m writing this, I glance over at the homepage and notice a google ad down the right hand side of the page. It reads, “Solar Energy Charity”. For those of you who understand the mechanics of the glorious monopoly machine that is Google (I guess there should probably be a tm inside a circle in there somewhere), GoogleAds works on keywords and links which means either I’m writing long winded bullshit stories about Solar Energy (which I doubt) or the people who read my website are fucking hippies. Let me be clear. If you do not know what a rib eye tastes like you vegan skid mark, you are not welcome here.

While I don’t like making this some self indulgent online account of the farce that is my life, it helps illustrate a point, and thus…will be included. Driving home last night on the free way, I look in the rear view and notice some headlights bouncing around the road…which is usually an indication of speed. I look away and glance back a few moments later…they are now much closer. 5 seconds pass and all I can hear is the roaring of a Honda engine with an exhaust that looked (and sounded) like it had been made out of hollowed peach cans that had been stuck together with faeces and twigs and some fuck wit in the drivers seat, bathed in a healthy neon glow that would rival most Friday nights at Bubble (a suspect establishment in the city whose patrons are known to dabble here and there in a narcotic or two and as an extension to that, has been practically lined with fluorescent and UV neon lights).

This face palm of a human being would have been doing at a minimum… 180 in a 100 zone. Now it isn’t the speed I take issue with…you can do what you like in either an enclosed environment like a race track or a completely empty highway. My problem is that everyone else was doing 100 and the road wasn’t empty which means two decisions had been made by this crotch pheasant. The first of which, is that he possesses the necessary high speed manoeuvring skills to navigate a highway full of cars after only a year or two experience at best because he is now a traffic light grand prix champion and secondly that he holds both other peoples lives, his car and last but certainly least, his own life in such contempt. What makes matters worse is that he wasn’t alone.

The Tokyo drift fanboi’s were out in fucking force. Lime green Honda civics, an r33 that had been sprayed with “Ferrari Red” spray cans he got from AutoBarn for 99c each, a 200sx and a whole bunch of cars with 15 year old McDonalds “assistant managers” behind the steering wheels, probably just fresh off their Ls driving like fucking lunatics. They all scream past me, our hero included who has now managed to box himself in… (I know, the audacity of tax paying people using roads they paid for is a horrendous thought but bare with me). He was so frustrated that his 7331 pro skillz yo had failed him momentarily and so adamant on keeping up with his hair brain mates, that he (at 180km/hr) jumps up on the nature strip, the cars rear end which HASN’T been prepared to do areal acrobatics or speeds of 180km/hr for that matter, bounces up and down like a matchbox car that’s been piffed down a hall way by an angry toddler and by some unfortunately cruel twist of fait, he doesn’t die in a fiery ball of karmic vengeance but rather the car steadies (most likely thanks to the brilliance of the s2000 engineers and not his driving skills) speeds UP to catch up with his crony mates.

Now I have this theory. I like theories. Essentially its premise is that for any logical, rational thinking, intelligent human being conducting the below thought experiment…it is statistically viable to assume that such an event would yield a positive result once in every say…20 occurrences (positive being that the idiot scraped up from the pavement by who ever’s job it is to sweep up brain fragments off the road, as well as the assumption that the subject is indeed that stupid otherwise the car would be doing the speed limit and I wouldn’t be cracking the shits). This means that each time one of these munt faces decides his Vin Diesel, there is a 1 in 20 chance that his head will go flying through the windscreen because he didn’t see that mother driving home from her second job with her 2 year old girl in the back seat asleep. He can’t just yell cut…he can’t get into a new car reinforced with a $20,000 roll cage, strap into his $5,000 recaro bucket seat with a 6 point harness, put on his $500 racing helmet and fire proof suit…and he can’t try again. Then Won Too Suk Yuo Kok or Guido Hatzipezzifistoshistos’ mum gets on TV balling her eyes out because her half wit son is dead at the tender mental age of 12 leaving his babies mumma alone to look after their 3 little inbred abominations. “He was such a good boy”…No…he wasn’t a good boy, he was a shit driver and a failure of a human being.

A similar thing happened to some idiot a few years back on the Westgate free way who decided that his commodores half cut springs were of the same grade as a V8 Super Car’s which are worth thousands and thousands of dollars and that he was fine to take his shit pile up to 160km/hr on an uneven surface. You know what happened? Ask the three families of the boy’s he killed. Maybe they know.

It might not be the biggest killer society faces…but 72 people died in 2008 between the ages of 18-25…24% of the total death toll. Sensis polls show that only 12% of the Victorian population is between those ages. As insignificant as it may be on a large scale, if it was our brother or best mate (and yes I am being gender bias because its appropriate)…I’m willing to bet that the statistic wouldn’t be as insignificant.

Charles Darwin might have been right with his natural selection crap, Howard Bloom and Richard Dawkins might have been onto something with all that bullshit about “the good of the herd”…its all well and good for them to kill themselves, I welcome it in fact…but its never been about JUST them.

SK

Call me lazy all you like, it doesn’t change how utterly hilarious it is that the only difference between christian rock and popular culture music is Ctrl H, Baby, Jesus.

Oh Jesus Jesus, how was I supposed to know
That something wasnt right here
Oh Jesus Jesus, I shouldnt have let you go
And now youre out of sight, yeah
Show me how you want it to be
Tell me Jesus cuz I need to know now, oh because

John Edwards is a fucking retard. While this has no relevance to today’s overall narrative…I just went to the kitchen for a glass of water and there happened to be some add on the TV with him in it. I think that douche bag needs to get back on his Ritalin and resume his normal life of Mac Books, restraining orders and not being allowed within 50m of a primary school.

This is about people of the Mediterranean persuasion. Now I can appreciate that I myself am, what would be deemed by definition, Mediterranean (pezzifistos wopchiztos greek bastard - from lock stock: go watch it), and the very notion of me writing this is rather contradictory, but it will become clear as we explore this idea further, that I am taking a shot at those who choose to life their lives in a way that THEY define as being so furiously patriotic to a country they have never been to, but it’s more hysterical… than a tribute to a culture they seem to have just, pulled out of their arses.

I’ve been fortunate enough to meet some real geniuses in my time (I say that with as sarcastic a tone as possible). People who think north is up (I’m not trying to be clever here, I’m serious), who haven’t quite accepted the fact that they aren’t a size 10 yet still see if they can manage to shrink wrap themselves in clothes that just don’t fit and just end up looking like Eric Cartman from South Park dressed as a hooker. Adding to this, there were a few events that occurred recently, both in my personal life and ones that made the news, that motivated me to go on a bit of a tilt.

Let me start from the start.

Essentially, I won’t go into detail, but two degenerates decided that I was an easy target as I took money out of an ATM in the city. Long story short, one of them probably had a nasty headache the next day from the KO, and the other probably needs a new lung but the point remains that one can STILL get mugged in this day and age. The second is that of an incident that occurred on Chapel Street a few days ago, where by some little 19 year old probably mouthed off to a big European/Mediterranean looking guy or looked in his girlfriends general direction and thus, was deserving of a concussion and enough scaffolding holding his face together to wrap around Eureka tower 5 times. The third was at the Crown Casino, where a bunch of European ladies (and a few male onlookers who seemed to be with the group) beating the ABSOLUTE SHIT out of each other. Friends, this is NO exaggeration. One little boy (men don’t do this), kicked one of the girls in the head as though he was taking a penalty. What the fuck is happening here? Not only is it now ok to beat the crap out of each other, but it’s ok to kick a girl in the head? Are you kidding me? Let me describe these fucktards as best as I can.

We have these miscreants who go after anyone that looks sideways at their cousin’s girlfriend’s dog’s washing machine because they saw UFC on the weekend and all of a sudden think they’re Randy Couture. To compound this, they don’t even need to know how to execute the move properly and still do damage, and they are all so highly strung and full of testosterone (no doubt from the steroids and creatine they take) that they would fight anyone – unlike normal people, reasoning and rational thinking is like chewing their food…an obvious and blatant waste of time and energy. On top of this, all that hair gel they use must be seeping into their skulls because they don’t so much speak our language…as vomit it out yet surprisingly it’s the only language they know (aside from whatever broken variations of their language of origin they learnt in Sunday school or are forced to speak around the house because the only English their parents know only ‘yes’ and ‘no’).

They make the migration from the suburbs every Friday and Saturday night and congregate around places like Crown and Chapel Street, commodores light up like Christmas trees with neons straight out of the Autobarn $2 bin from cousin Con. The cars are littered with gauges like shift lights and boost gauges even though their fucking cars are automatic and naturally aspirated and covered in badges they no doubt stole from a REAL SV8 or a Clubsports that have been glued on with a stick of U-HU. The body kits they use to make their shit heaps look like a HSV were designed by Kang Won Ping in Korea, who has never seen a Clubbie in his life and they have V6 engines with massive exhausts so as to fool Joe Dipsiht into believing they drive a V8, revving the shit out of the thing so that some equally degenerate retard in a skirt that only just reaches just past her ass crack (never mind that ITS 2 FUCKING DEGREES OUTSIDE) will be so impressed, shell run over to the car, open the door and jump on his tiny wiener – there should be laws against people like that having children. The bills of their Adidas hats (which match the tracksuits) point to the sky and the slack is bunched up at the back and tied with an elastic band so the damn thing will stay on because the concept of getting a hat that fits, and wearing it as it was intended is just ludicrous.

They cram 9 people in the back seat, all of whom are 100kgs or more forcing the springs they cut with bolt cutters to the very limits of what the laws of physics and thermo-dynamics allow. They have some stupid song blaring from the $6000 stereo they either bought off the back of a truck, or paid 5 months’ salary for, keeping in mind that it’s STILL a discount because they probably bought it off a relative and it STILL costs 4 times more than the piece of shit car they just paid another 4 grand for, to get a fresh coat of lime green…. And these people are allowed to not only DRIVE!!!….but VOTE? And PRO-CREATE?

This post has no purpose, isn’t structured and has no well rounded conclusion.  It’s just abuse. Good old fashioned, well deserving abuse.

Welcome to our moral decline…these people weren’t born, they simply congealed in a gutter somewhere.

Darwin you son of a bitch, scientific method my ass! you lied to us!

SK

So, this is the result of a bottle of Baileys, some Glenfiddich, Nandos, a lot of CakePoker and two barely functional degenerates.

For all those out there, crippled by the most recent plague to hit our shored, “Yellow Fever”, but unable to snag one for yourselves…here is a quick and easy how to guide.

Lesson 1 – Always approach from the side. For obvious reasons, oriental ladies suffer from poor peripheral vision. Approaching from her side will allow you to lay a couple of smooth lines before she realizes how ugly you are.

Lesson 2 – Hate on America and western values in general. It’s always good to establish commonalities in likes and dislikes. It may seem obtuse to pander to their communist sensibilities, but be assured that you can be humming the marching tunes of the Allied forces as you bend her over the kitchen table.

Lesson 3, Lesson 4, Lessons 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9 – Have money, and lots of it.

Lesson 10 – Do not tell her the real reasons you like Asian women, I do not care what your reason is, just don’t tell her. Don’t tell her it’s because it makes your dick look bigger, don’t tell her that you heard ‘Asian chicks are rockets in the sack’, don’t tell her that you saw hentai porn and assume she’ll wear a French maid outfit and fuck you with her tentacle… and under absolutely no circumstances are you to tell her that “Asian chicks are like legal children”.

Lesson 11 – Make sure to keep some homework, text books and study papers in the back of your car in case her mum catches you, then you can pretend you’re tutoring her in maths. Asians love maths.

Lesson 12 – As tempting and hilarious as it may be, do not repeatedly ask her to repeat lines from Kubrick’s Full Metal Jacket , such as “Me sooo horrr-ny”, “Me love you loooong time” and “2 dorrar, sucky suckky”. All these phrases may give you a hard on, but they’ll probably also leave you alone at the end of the evening with blue balls, desperately trying to rub one out to a copy of “Oriental Strap-On queens 7”. A sentiment that is neither appealing nor something to be particularly proud of.

Lession 13 - Go buy a school girl uniform and keep it in your boot.  Thank me later.

SK and AS
Long live Andysnare.com.

R.I.P.
May the leaders of its enemys jump of the westgate under the crippling weight of insolvency.